


and I must insist that you haven’t had enough, haven’t had enough

by suzukiblu



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/M, Incubus Tony Stark, M/M, Multi, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Polyamory, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Switch Tony Stark, incubus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:46:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21726223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzukiblu/pseuds/suzukiblu
Summary: “I cannot believe you scheduled an Avengers orgy,” Steve says, pinching the bridge of his nose.“I mean, Pepper’s here too, obviously,” Tony says.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Clint Barton/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Pepper Potts/James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Thor
Comments: 42
Kudos: 827





	and I must insist that you haven’t had enough, haven’t had enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [belladonnaprice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/belladonnaprice/gifts).



> Written for belladonnaprice, who wanted accidental incubus Tony Stark and left the rest up to me.

Tony walks in on Pepper and Rhodey fucking in his lab in the middle of the pieces of his latest Iron Man suit and his dick nearly breaks his zipper. 

"Oh shit, is it Christmas?" he asks in alarm. "Did I forget Christmas again?” 

“If you’d forgotten Christmas again, we’d be in someone else’s lab,” Rhodey says dryly, and grinds his hips into Pepper’s in a way that makes her squeeze her thighs against his sides and make what is probably Tony’s favorite noise in the entire goddamn world. 

“That’s a bluff, there’s only so many labs in the Tower and we all know Bruce hates it when anybody gets busy in his,” Tony says, edging towards them not-very-subtly. Sue him, it’s a pretty sight, but he’s more an exhibitionist than a voyeur. 

“He didn’t mind when Natasha and I did,” Pepper says, tipping her head back to look up at him, her body moving beautifully with Rhodey’s thrusts. The table puts her at about perfect height for Tony to put his dick in her mouth, but obviously he’s not doing that without an invitation. 

“Okay, but that’s _you and Natasha_ , who’s gonna complain about _that_?” Tony says. “Good to know another one of his kinks, though, maybe if we figure out enough of them he’ll actually put out.” 

“You know he’s worried about the Hulk,” Pepper says, giving him a disapproving look. How she manages that with Rhodey’s truly _excellent_ sex game going on Tony has no idea. Apparently she just disapproves that strongly. 

“I know and I do not care,” he says. Sue him, he wants some Science Bro dick before he dies, and given their lives that could be anytime now. 

“Bruce does,” Rhodey says, then leans down and kisses Pepper, who makes a content noise into his mouth and cups his face in her hands. Unfortunately, the “Bruce does” argument kind of wins out over everything else. 

“Bruce cares about way too many things,” Tony says anyway, leaning against the table. To stabilize it, obviously, because Pepper and Rhodey are really going at it now and God forbid it collapse or something, that’d be super inconvenient for them, he’s just being a supportive datemate. Boyfriend. Whatever he counts as, admittedly they have not hammered out the details too specifically. Tony doesn’t care, as long as it means he gets to walk in on them fucking in his lab. 

Pepper moans. Rhodey pushes his mouth into her throat and bites down to her collarbone and twists his hips just _so_ , and she moans louder and wraps her arms around his neck. Tony practically jitters with energy, waiting for one of them to give their say-so. Sue him, he gets excited in these situations. Who the hell wouldn’t? 

Okay, like, asexual people and supervillains, but he’s definitely neither of those. He is very, _very_ sexual and has done his damnedest to not be a supervillain, at least since Afghanistan. 

“You are both very attractive people, have I mentioned that yet today?” Tony says. “Like, really, top two in the Tower, in my humble opinion.” 

“Thor lives in the Tower,” Rhodey says, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Fine, top two _humans_ , geez, it’s not my fault there’s a literal _alien god_ running around,” Tony huffs, folding his arms. Pepper laughs and reaches over to put a hand on his hip and squeeze. Tony wants to put his hands all over her and fuck her until she’s too exhausted to move, and then do the same to Rhodey. Maybe if he’s real slick, he can manage both at once. 

“Flatterer,” Pepper says, smiling up at him. Her hair’s a mess and she’s covered in sweat and she looks absolutely beautiful. Tony really, _really_ wants to put his hands all over her. 

“Fact-erer, in fact,” he says, because he has self-restraint. Well—some, anyway. Pepper laughs again and Rhodey lets out a huffed chuckle, and she hitches her legs up a little higher and he slides in deeper and Tony suffers, and _delights_. One of Rhodey’s hands is practically on top of one of his gauntlets, Pepper’s hair is all over the papers he was taking notes on last night, and they both have little smudges of grease scattered here and there. He feels like he could eat them both alive right now and go back for thirds. 

“Oh—” Pepper sighs, and arches up sharply underneath Rhodey’s body. Tony watches _extremely_ attentively, and a jittering rush goes through him at the sight of her coming. Rhodey braces his hands on the table and snaps his hips in harder, and Pepper moans and shivers and clutches up around him, digging her perfectly-manicured nails into his back. They knock a disassembled boot off the table. Rhodey comes himself a few thrusts later, and frankly, Tony feels about this close to doing the same. 

“Quick question, am I being impatient or am I just harder than I’ve ever been ever. Two guesses and the first one doesn’t count,” he says, feeling sharp and alert and _electric_ and barely holding himself back from throwing himself right in the middle of their afterglow. They both laugh tiredly and grin at him, which feels a little bit electric too. 

“I think it’s probably both, knowing you,” Pepper says, smiling up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. 

“Don’t encourage him, Pepper,” Rhodey says. 

“Absolutely encourage me,” Tony says, and leans over to kiss him. Rhodey sighs into his mouth, but kisses back. Tony feels that electric rush again, and barely keeps his hands from jittering. “You should let me fuck you.” 

“Which one of us?” Pepper asks in amusement. 

“Both of you, obviously,” Tony says firmly. “What, I’m going to leave the job half-finished?” 

Pepper and Rhodey laugh again, and Pepper catches one of his hands and laces their fingers together and Rhodey kisses him again. Tony could fucking bubble _over_ with how good that makes him feel. 

“Yeah, definitely both of you,” he says. 

.

.

.

Tony is very good at sex, which he knows because he has worked very hard at getting very good at it and also because all his various and sundry partners keep coming back for more, up to and including the ones he barely gets along with outside of the bedroom. 

“Fuuuuck,” Steve groans. He’s flat on his back in Tony’s bed and Tony is inside him, which is a really excellent arrangement of circumstances and one Tony is immensely proud of achieving. Every time he gets Steve to give it up is a victory, because Steve thinks almost anything that isn’t directly related to Avenging is a thing he shouldn’t be doing. Getting him to like his dick enough to come back for more is definitely Tony’s greatest achievement since Iron Man. 

Also, Tony is man enough to admit that it gives him a smug little thrill that he can keep up with a super-soldier who's a couple decades younger than him in bed. 

Well, maybe more than a _little_ thrill. 

“Tony, Tony, _Tony_ ,” Steve gasps out, his face all flushed and gorgeous, and Tony uses the rhythm of his voice like a metronome, by which he means he fucks him to it. He likes to encourage things like Steve saying his name or losing a bit of that too-tight control. He’s never managed getting the other to _completely_ lose control, but it doesn’t hurt to have something to aspire to. 

“Feels good?” he asks, because mercy is not a thing he has when it comes to Steve and sex. Steve screws up his face and bites the back of his wrist, but nods roughly. Tony feels that same electric thrill he always gets in these situations and puts his hand around the other’s cock to jerk him off. Steve makes some really, really good noises and comes all over his hand, clenching up so tight that Tony can’t help coming himself almost immediately after. Steve moans hoarsely, slumping back against the mattress; Tony pushes his mouth into the corner of his jaw and tries to catch his breath. 

He kind of wants to just keep fucking him. Shame his dick’s only the regular human kind. 

“Have we introduced you to twenty-first century sex toys yet? I feel like we should introduce you to twenty-first century sex toys,” he muses breathlessly, pulling out and relishing the disappointed noise that Steve makes every time, no matter how many rounds they’ve gone. This was three, for the record. Steve doesn’t get into it enough to say his name until at _least_ round three. 

Tony doesn’t know what it is about Steve, but something about him _really_ gets him going. 

“Not to judge the forties or anything, I just feel like you might appreciate meeting the upgrades,” he continues. “And I would _certainly_ appreciate doing the introducing.” 

“Do you _ever_ just enjoy the afterglow?” Steve asks with a sigh, squeezing his thighs together. Tony barely resists the urge to worm his hand between them and finger-fuck him. 

Actually, why is he resisting that urge, that’s a _great_ urge, he thinks. 

“I am very much enjoying it, in fact,” he says, and then does in fact worm his hand between Steve’s thighs to finger-fuck him. Steve groans, arching up into the contact, and then bites the back of his wrist again. Tony wants to come all over his perfect All-American face and then lick it clean. 

“I _cannot_ go again,” Steve says, and Tony smirks at him. 

"One more round, Cap, c'mon, raise that flagpole for _America_ ," he coaxes, crooking his fingers inside him, and Steve groans again and throws an arm over his eyes. 

“You’re _insatiable_ , Tony,” he says. 

“Thank you,” Tony says, preening. 

“You can’t actually win at sex,” Steve says, as the definite loser of this sex. 

“Of course not, wouldn’t even try to,” Tony lies breezily, and grins as the other’s thighs fall apart. 

.

.

.

Tony is about halfway out of the Iron Man suit and Clint is about halfway up him, trying to kiss his mouth off. He’s doing a pretty good job of it. Tony wants to pin him to the wall of the Quinjet and fuck him, although with Clint it’s usually the other way around. Usually he’s not still wearing his boots and gauntlets and half his armor, though. 

“Well this is a nice turn of events,” he says, and Clint wraps his legs around his waist and lets him pin him to that wall after all. 

“You almost died, you fucking idiot,” he says. 

“Natasha’s not climbing me over that,” Tony points out. Natasha is flying the Quinjet, admittedly. Still, they’ve got autopilot for a reason. 

“Natasha’s gonna kill you herself,” Clint says, reaching between them to unbutton his pants. Tony thinks that is an excellent idea, but the gauntlets aren’t quite that delicate. 

“Little help? For the man who almost died and all,” he says. Clint gives him a _look_ , but unzips him too. He grinds their cocks together in a really _satisfying_ way and Tony exhales all in a rush, pushing him into the wall. 

“You’re not hurt, right?” Clint asks. 

“I want to fuck you blind,” Tony says, as the one with obviously better priorities. Clint gives him another look, then digs his heels into his back. 

“Hurry up and do it, then,” he says, and that electric rush fills Tony right up. 

.

.

.

Again, Tony is not so much a voyeur, especially considering just about everyone in the Tower is happy to involve him in whatever they’re up to—he’s working on Bruce and Thor, okay, the Hulk and the constantly running off to do weird things with a rainbow are not his fault—but then Steve went and brought home the Winter Soldier. 

Tony is _really_ not sure what to do with that. Steve told him some shit that kind of makes him want to kill the guy, but at the same time it’s not the guy’s _fault_ and HYDRA was going to do it either way, but also he _is_ still the one that did it and . . . 

For all the obvious reasons, he hasn't been comfortable letting the Winter Soldier into his bed. Until today, he thought nobody had been. 

_“Da, da,”_ the Soldier—he should probably think of him as “Bucky”, but it’s fucking _hard_ to—gasps out as Sam jerks him off, his metal hand leaving some unfortunate grooves in Tony’s kitchen counter. He can get it fixed, obviously, it’s just, you know. The principle of the thing. Or something. 

Or the fact that this is the weapon HYDRA used to murder his parents. One or the other. 

“Good soldier,” Natasha says, glancing over at Tony curiously as she runs her fingers through the Soldier’s hair. Obviously she knew he was in the doorway from the second he got here, though he really did not intend to get here, he was just kind of wandering around with his coffee, thinking, and felt like going this way. Also, in his defense, this is the common room floor’s kitchen. 

Admittedly, it’s also like two AM. But still. 

The Soldier’s pleading in Russian, which Tony does not speak. Morbid curiosity has him calling up J.A.R.V.I.S.’s translation protocols, and he reads the translations to himself as they appear. _Don’t stop_ and _yes ma’am_ both feature prominently. 

“Kinda surprised Twin Pop’s into this kind of thing,” Tony says, because he is literally incapable of keeping his mouth shut. 

“It’s a recent development,” Natasha says. 

“Very recent,” Sam says. Tony is pretty sure that means “within the past five minutes”, the way he says it. Also, it would explain them doing it in the common room kitchen as opposed to literally anywhere else. 

“You mind Tony being here?” Sam asks the Soldier. 

“Who?” the Soldier says, sounding dazed. He’s clinging to Sam, but his metal hand’s still digging into the counter. Probably the safest place for it, all things considered. 

“Me,” Tony supplies, taking a sip of his coffee. The Soldier gives him a blank look, then buries his face in Sam’s shoulder. Tony’s not sure what that means, in brainwashed political assassin. Unfortunately J.A.R.V.I.S. can’t translate _that_. “It’s cool, I’ve slept with basically everyone else in the place, it was really only a matter of time until I saw your dick.” 

Maybe, anyway. 

“Oh, you finally got Thor to stay still longer than thirty seconds?” Natasha asks, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“I’m working on it,” Tony says with great dignity. Thor, so far, has been entirely oblivious to his come-ons. He’s pretty sure he’s going to have to just sit in his lap at this point. “And Bruce, obviously. But everyone else.” 

“Steve?” the Soldier asks, peering warily at him. He says the name like it’s in a foreign language. 

“Repeatedly,” Tony says, sipping his coffee again. Frankly he’s kind of surprised Steve isn’t here right now. “He broke my headboard once, it was very exciting. I see you’re aiming to ruin the countertops yourself.” 

“No offense, Tony, but I would much rather he breaks the countertop than one of us,” Sam says. 

“Fair,” Tony says, and heads over closer to them. Like . . . exposure therapy, or something. It’s not the Winter Soldier’s fault he is what he is. The only thing he ever did was survive some fucked up experiments and fall off a train. 

“Is it?” Natasha says. She runs her fingers through the Soldier’s hair again. He barely seems to know what to do with the contact. 

It’s sort of disturbing that Tony is still getting that electric feeling he always gets when somebody’s getting laid, probably. He feels like his teeth are sparking. He debates putting a hand on the Soldier, but that’s sort of uncharted territory there. 

Maybe he’s just really into super-soldiers, he thinks. _That’s_ probably one to bring up in therapy, all things considered. 

The Winter Soldier gasps and presses his head into Natasha’s hand and his cock into Sam’s and comes all over himself. Tony takes another sip of coffee. 

The whole situation is very weird, he thinks, fingers jittering restlessly on his mug. 

At least the caffeine’s finally kicking in. 

.

.

.

“No,” Bruce says. 

“I didn’t even _say_ anything,” Tony protests. 

“I know what that face means,” Bruce says, pointing accusingly at him across his desk. “That’s your ‘I have another idea for how you could have sex’ face.” 

“I have a face for that?” Tony asks in bemusement, putting a hand to his cheek. “That seems like a very specific face.” 

“You do, and you’re wearing it,” Bruce says. “I _told_ you, Tony, I don’t want to have sex with anyone.” 

“The last time we got drunk you put your head in my lap and whined about how bad you wanted to suck my cock,” Tony says meaningfully. “It was both extremely hot and extremely torturous, for the record.” Bruce turns red. Tony raises his eyebrows at him. 

“I did not,” Bruce says, sounding unconvinced. 

“You really did,” Tony says. “Really though, technically you could probably suck my cock without getting too turned on to stay Bruce.” 

“No I couldn’t,” Bruce says, which is _very_ flattering, actually. 

“Full disclosure, that is not making me want to do the horizontal mambo with you any less,” Tony says. Bruce grimaces. 

“Tony . . .” he says wearily. 

“Bruce?” Tony cocks an eyebrow at him. 

“It’s not safe,” Bruce says. 

“So you keep insisting, yeah,” Tony says. “The Hulk has yet to actually hurt any of us, you realize, even if he _did_ come out.” 

“That doesn’t mean he couldn’t,” Bruce says. “Especially in a situation that vulnerable.” 

“Giving you a handjob is vulnerable, now?” Tony says. Bruce frowns at him. 

“I said no,” he says. “Why do you keep pushing?” 

“If I did not know for a fact how much you really _really_ wanted to, I would not be,” Tony says frankly. Bruce is not exactly subtle. Also he literally never stays in the room when any of the rest of them so much as kiss. His sexual repression is in really high overdrive, clearly, but it’s no match for how badly he so clearly wants to touch them, and it literally _pains_ Tony to see it. 

Basically, Tony knows he can talk him into it. It’s just talking him into it and _not_ fucking it up that’s the issue, because yeah, the Hulk coming out in the bedroom would in fact be kind of an issue. One Tony’s willing to put up with, personally, but not a very fun one for _Bruce_. 

“You know that’s not the problem,” Bruce says, looking pretty pained himself. 

“I definitely do,” Tony agrees, grabbing the other chair and swinging it around to sit next to him. “Listen, we could do some experiments.” 

“What kind of experiments?” Bruce says warily, and anyway that’s how Tony finally gets his hands on Bruce’s dick. They don’t bother leaving the lab; they don’t even leave Bruce’s desk. Tony just rolls his chair up a little closer to the other’s and gets to work. 

Bruce is obsessively tracking his heart rate the entire time, unsurprisingly, but Tony is confident that he’s good enough at this to make the guy forget about that soon enough. He puts a certain twist in his wrist and pushes his thumb up under the head of his cock and Bruce bites back a groan, his breathing slow and measured. Tony considers crawling into his lap but figures that might be a bit too much for their first experiment. Gotta add one element at a time, not just throw everything in the test tube at once. 

“You’re good at that,” Bruce huffs out, and Tony grins at him and strokes him a little faster. 

“Was there ever any doubt?” he asks. 

“Yes,” Bruce says, which is just _mean_ , frankly. Tony has, again, gone to _great_ effort to be good in bed. 

“C’mon, _Rogers_ likes it. And when does he like anything I do?” he reminds him, and Bruce makes an allowing noise. “You look extremely good like this, by the way, I am very into it. Like, I already wanna show you off kind of good.” 

_“Tony,”_ Bruce grunts, grimacing like it hurts. It obviously does not, so Tony keeps it up. What, he can add a little dirty talk, that’s not too much for the test tube to handle. 

“Listen, you can’t blame me for that, that’s the reasonable reaction that anyone would have,” he says, squeezing the other a little tighter on his next stroke. “Also I’m pretty sure at _least_ half the Tower’s been waiting for it. I mean, probably not ol’ Bucky boy but then again what do I know, I’m not a mind reader. Definitely me, and definitely also—” 

“You _cannot_ talk while we do this,” Bruce says thinly, putting a hand over his mouth. Tony wags his eyebrows at him and licks it. “Ugh!” 

“Is that because it’s annoying or because you’re into it?” he asks. Sue him, he’s still working on that list of Bruce’s kinks. Bruce lets all his breath out in a huff, shoulders hunching. 

“Figure it out yourself,” he grunts. He’s not breathing as evenly anymore. 

“I think that’s Bruce for ‘please stop, Tony, you’re _too sexy_ ’,” Tony decides, and Bruce lets out a raspy chuckle and shakes his head at him. “Yup, definitely, that’s very flattering, buddy, nice to hear it. Hey, remember that time Pepper and Natasha did it in here?” 

“Do _not_ remind me about that right now,” Bruce says, his eyes flashing green in a way that somehow goes straight to Tony’s dick. It _definitely_ gives him a rush, that’s for sure. 

“I was mostly wondering if you stuck around to watch or not,” Tony says. He definitely would’ve, but obviously he’s not Bruce and doesn’t need to worry about getting too turned on to fit in the lab. 

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” Bruce says. 

“You realize that was probably an invitation you were ‘interrupting’, right?” Tony says wryly, and Bruce flushes darkly. His glasses are slipping low on his nose and Tony reaches up with his free hand to adjust them, and Bruce bites his lip as a shudder goes through him. Tony feels that electric spark again and cups the other’s face in his hand. Bruce makes a noise, quiet and achy-soft, and Tony _definitely_ does not want to fuck this up. 

“Tony . . .” Bruce says warily, his eyes a steady green now. Tony grabs one of his hands and squeezes it, and squeezes his cock too. 

“You’re doing great, really, fantastic,” he tells him encouragingly. 

“Don’t _patronize_ me,” Bruce says in exasperation, the green in his eyes flickering a bit. Tony resists the urge to laugh. 

“This is really not me patronizing you,” he says, rubbing his thumb over the slit of the other’s cock. He kind of wants to kiss him but they didn’t talk about that, and also the test tube thing. He settles for kissing the back of his hand, because why not? “But look at you, you are _entirely_ not-Hulk-shaped right now!” 

“You’re exhausting,” Bruce says, and then hisses under his breath as Tony does something exceptionally clever with his fingers, if he does say so himself. “Tony . . .” 

“You can just keep saying my name like that for the rest of forever,” Tony says. “Like, I’m very fond of that tone of voice you’re using, it’s an excellent tone of voice, very impressive.” 

Bruce huffs at him, his eyes half-closing, and Tony puts all his attention into jacking him off. Bruce watches him with green, glittering eyes, taking measured breaths and very, very tense. Tony is going to _relish_ the moment all the tension goes out of him, almost as much as he’s relishing the rush of energy getting to see Bruce like this is bringing out of him. He wants to climb all over him, he wants to eat him up, he wants—

Bruce comes, gasping and shocked and just barely green-tinged, and Tony _grins_. 

.

.

.

So yeah, Tony's never fucked Thor before, but fucking a god is exactly like you'd expect. 

Well, being fucked by, in this case. 

“Okay, wow,” Tony says dizzily, and Thor kisses his mouth and _thrusts_. It is a whole thing. Like . . . so very much a thing. Tony feels lit _up_ , crackling with enough energy to design and build a whole new suit in one night, and he has a very solid bed for very obvious reasons but Thor is fucking _shaking_ it. “Wow wow _wow_ , we need to _bottle_ you, seriously, you’ve been holding _out_ on us.” 

“You do realize you only had to ask, yes?” Thor says, looking amused. His cock is _perfect_ , and fills Tony up just right. He can’t catch his breath at all, which is making it very hard to keep up his usual standard of pillow talk. 

“Well I do _now_ ,” he says, then moans as Thor thrusts back into him. Again: perfect. He is totally bringing—well, actually it’s really hard to pick who to bring next time, the Venn Diagram of people who are Avengers and people Tony’s knocked over is rapidly becoming a circle, but he’s not above just literally taking Thor’s pants off in the middle of movie night and calling it fair. Not that they really deliberately have movie nights, it’s usually an accident, but hey, he could arrange one. Or just, like, an orgy. They’re all busy people but Pepper is _amazing_ at scheduling shit. 

“I would certainly have done this sooner if I had known,” Thor says, his perfect cock thrusting in again. Tony literally feels like he’s putting off sparks. Thor literally _is_ putting off sparks. It is super fucking hot. Also a little weird, but no weirder than Bruce turning kind of green, really. 

He puts his hands on Thor’s face and kisses him again, and feels that perfect electric _rush_. Thor makes a surprised sound and leans back, the rhythm of his hips stuttering. Tony blinks up at him stupidly, not sure why he’s stopped. 

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks blankly. He does a lot of things wrong, but not usually in bed. 

"No, no, I simply did not realize before," Thor says with a smile, and Tony would follow up on that except that's when Thor starts fucking him again and obviously he has way bigger concerns then, _yes_ pun intended. 

It’s not like it’s anything important, after all. 

.

.

.

Pepper really is _amazing_ at scheduling. 

“I cannot believe you scheduled an Avengers orgy,” Steve says, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“I mean, Pepper’s here too, obviously,” Tony says. “And _technically_ Wilson and Barnes aren’t on the payroll yet.” 

“Tell that to the U.S. government,” Steve says. 

“I probably shouldn’t, since you want to keep Barnes out of prison and all,” Tony says practically. “Look, you don’t have to participate in the team bonding activities if you don’t want to participate in the team bonding activities, that’s entirely your prerogative.” 

“Why are you like this,” Steve says resignedly. 

“We did all turn up,” Natasha points out casually from the couch. She’s sitting in Sam’s lap, feet kicked up into Clint’s, and running her hand through the Winter—through Bucky’s hair where he’s sitting on the floor in front of them. They’re all still dressed, which is a shame. 

“I’m still here on a trial basis,” Bruce puts in uncomfortably. He’s in the armchair closest to the door, unsurprisingly. Pepper and Rhodey are cuddled up on the loveseat, and Thor’s standing behind them. They’re also all still dressed, which is also a shame. 

“Hey, I got you off without Hulking out once, I can do it again,” Tony says matter-of-factly. 

“That would make the most sense,” Thor agrees, nodding his head. “I imagine it is difficult for the Hulk to come out when your energy is depleted.” 

“That’s really not what happens when my pulse kicks up,” Bruce says. 

“Of course not _normally_ ,” Thor says. “But of course Tony would be able to manage it.” 

“It’s true, I am that good,” Tony says breezily. 

“I don’t feel like that’s an ‘of course’,” Steve says, like he’s never taken a ride on that particular disco stick. 

“Look,” Tony says reasonably, hands moving quickly in the air between them. “ _I_ at least have already fucked everyone in the Tower and clearly everyone in the Tower is _up_ for fucking each other—” 

“You never actually asked,” Clint says. 

“—okay but _come on_ , look at them,” Tony says, gesturing at Steve for emphasis. “Who doesn’t want to climb at _least_ the American Dream and the Norse god? To say nothing of _Pepper_?” 

“He didn’t say you were wrong,” Sam says. 

“Which I am not! Clearly!” Tony huffs indignantly, folding his arms. Seriously, some gratitude from these people. 

“It does seem more efficient,” Thor says. 

“ _Thank_ you, Thor. His cock is amazing, by the way, you should absolutely get at it,” Tony informs Steve, who looks pained. 

“Look,” he says. “I’m not _against_ fraternizing—” 

“Oh my God, you are actually calling this _fraternizing_ ,” Tony says. “Steve. Please. You’re hurting me.” 

_“Tony—”_

“Hurting me!” 

“Well, if no one has a problem with it . . .” Pepper says with a little smile as she starts unbuttoning her shirt, as the smartest and most beautiful person in the room. 

“Good focus,” Rhodey says, and kisses her ear. Pepper smiles wider. Tony _loves_ them. 

“Just to be clear, you two are my favorites,” he says, pointing at them. “Everybody else is a distant third, at best.” Pepper laughs, and Rhodey rolls his eyes. 

“You say that, but it was still your idea to invite the whole Tower,” she teases lightly, shrugging off her shirt. Rhodey kisses her jaw this time and puts a hand on her waist. 

“It’s only reasonable,” Thor says, stripping off his own shirt, yes, good, _great_ , Tony _knew_ this was a good idea. “You should be careful not to overeat, though, Tony, with this many people with powers in the room.” 

“‘Overeat’?” Tony asks blankly, mostly concerned with the other’s glorious abs, which truly are alien-godly. 

“Yes,” Thor says. “Loki and I once bedded a succubus together after a bilgesnipe hunt and she was somewhat overwhelmed by the experience.” 

“A what?” Tony says. 

“A bilgesnipe hunt,” Thor says. 

“Not _that_ part!” 

“Isn’t a succubus a kind of demon?” Pepper asks with a little frown, tilting her head. 

“No more-so than I am a kind of god,” Thor says with a laugh. 

“You kind of are kind of a god, though,” Clint says. 

“Only to humans,” Thor says dismissively. “I am sure it will be fine, Tony is quite experienced. I merely wanted to be sure, given it will be all of us at once.” 

“Experienced is a word for it, definitely,” Rhodey says dryly; Tony shoots him an offended look. 

“You constantly reap the _rewards_ of that experience, thank you very much, you ungrateful schmuck,” he says accusingly, planting his hands on his hips. “Why are we talking about fake demons when we could be for-real fucking?” 

“They eat sexual energy, don’t they?” Natasha says, tilting her head as an odd light of understanding comes into her eyes. “Or something like that.” 

“That is correct, yes,” Thor says. “The less scrupulous ones devour life force outright, but sexual energies are more than enough for them to subsist on.” 

“Interesting,” Natasha says, raising an eyebrow at Tony for some reason. “You never mentioned that before, Tony.” 

“Mentioned what, Asgardian sex demons?” Tony says in bemusement. 

“Oh, you are not Asgardian in origin,” Thor says with a laugh. “Succubi are quite different from Asgardians.” 

“. . . sorry, what?” Tony says. “ _You_ are not? That’s what you just said, right?” 

“Yes,” Thor says. 

“I am not a succubus,” Tony says. 

“Well, no, you’d be an incubus,” Thor agrees. “Succubi are female.” 

“I’m not one of those either!” Tony says, throwing his hands up in the air. “What are you _talking_ about, Thor?!” 

“But you are,” Thor says, looking surprised. “You devoured my energy when we bedded each other. And is that not how you kept Bruce from becoming the Hulk when you laid with him?” 

“What?!” Tony says. _“What?!”_

“Maybe we need to push this back an hour,” Pepper says, pulling out her phone with a little frown. 

“Alternately, maybe we need to run some tests,” Bruce says, leaning forward in his seat with a frown of his own. 

“I extremely do not like the sound of that,” Tony says. “Not even a little bit do I like the sound of that. _I_ run tests. _You_ stick needles in people.” 

“Thor just said you ate the Hulk,” Bruce says. “You don’t find that a little concerning?” 

“Do I _look_ like I ate the Hulk?!” Tony protests. 

“That is not _quite_ what I meant, my friends,” Thor says wryly. “An incubus devours energy, as I said. Tony would only have to chose to consume the energy that fuels Bruce’s transformation to stave it off.” 

“So you ate the Hulk,” Steve says, giving Tony a _look_. 

“That is not what he said!” Tony protests, raising his hands defensively. Admittedly, he doesn’t fully understand what Thor _did_ say, but there’s a difference there, dammit! Apparently, anyway! 

“You truly did not know?” Thor says. 

“I would’ve _mentioned_ being a sex demon!” Tony says. “I would put that on my _business_ card! On that note, apparently I need new business cards. Pepper, where do we get those again?” 

“You are not putting this on your business cards,” Pepper says. “I already let you put ‘Iron Man’ and ‘genius billionaire philanthropist’ on them, _and_ get the red and gold ones.” 

“Should we be worried about this, Thor?” Steve asks; Thor shrugs. 

“I see no reason to be,” he says. “Tony clearly knows how to control his powers, even if only subconsciously. I am surprised he did not know he was an incubus, though.” 

“I think my _parents_ would’ve mentioned something!” Tony says, waving his hands in exasperation. 

“Howard _was_ , well . . . _Howard_ ,” Steve says. 

“I am very sure you mean that differently than I would mean it, but fair point,” Tony says. “Oh God, I really do have to let Bruce run tests, don’t I. I don’t want Bruce-tests! Bruce-tests _sting_!” 

“It’ll only hurt a little,” Bruce says, which is _not reassuring_. 

“Your pain tolerance is not universal!” Tony says accusingly. “And I think it’s safe to say I would _much_ rather be having sex than sitting in your lab while you run blood samples.” 

“It could be dangerous,” Bruce says. 

“I doubt it,” Thor says with another shrug. “If Tony has yet to accidentally harm anyone, it is unlikely he will start now. And there are certainly enough of us here to see him as well-fed as he pleases, one way or another.” 

“Look, the _god_ says it’s okay!” Tony says, pointing at him. “And if anybody knows about weird alien sex demons, it’s Thor, obviously!” 

“Apparently it should be _you_ , actually,” Natasha says mildly, drawing her fingers through Bucky’s hair again. 

“I can work on that _tomorrow_ night,” Tony says. There is in fact a whole slew of complicated feelings he is gonna have to work out later, far too many of which are going to involve his parents, but for the moment: “More importantly, this was the only six-to-eight hours we all had free at once, and we’re spending them threatening to stick me with needles. Is that _really_ what we wanna be doing tonight?” 

“It _would_ be rude to leave you unfed,” Thor says. 

“Yes! Yes it would!” Tony says, immediately seizing the opportunity. “You’re going to _starve_ me, Bruce!” 

“I’m pretty sure you’re not starving,” Bruce says. 

“I cannot believe you just learned you can definitely have sex without Hulking out and your first thought is to look the gift incubus in the mouth,” Tony says, pointing at himself. Bruce turns red. 

“He does have a point,” Natasha muses thoughtfully, glancing Bruce over. He turns even redder and puts his face in his hands. 

“Steve, please back me up here,” he says. 

“Tony’s probably not starving,” Steve says. “You are looking the gift incubus in the mouth a bit, though.” 

_“Steve.”_

“Just saying.” 

“It does seem as if it would be helpful,” Thor says. He is, notably, still shirtless, and Tony would very much like to be climbing him right now. It would be a much better use of his time than this argument has been. “Though I suppose learning that one is a different species than they previously believed can be . . . upsetting.” 

“Who cares?” Tony says. “Who am I, Loki? Half the room’s barely human anyway. At least not standard human, anyway. We’re at least fifty percent experiments gone wrong and aliens.” 

“Technically—” Bruce starts, glancing towards Steve, and Tony cuts him off with an exasperated gesture. 

“Okay, Steve is a _successful_ experiment, but my point still stands,” he says. “Point is, we’ve got two super-soldiers, an alien god-prince, a _Hulk_ , and Pepper can set us all on fire just by thinking about it. I do not feel all that out of place.” 

“Wait, Pepper can what?” Steve asks. 

“No more tangents!” Tony says. “Thor already said we can worry about the sex demon thing later!” 

“You are not actually a demon,” Thor says. 

“You get to be a god, I get to be a demon,” Tony shoots back. “The _important_ thing is, we are clear for launch on this party and I don’t really think anyone wants to delay it just so Bruce and I can do completely delayable science, do they?” 

“I did have to rearrange a few meetings for this,” Pepper mentions. She also is still shirtless. Perfect priorities, in Tony’s opinion. “And we won’t all be able to get together like this again for at least another week.” 

“Mmm,” Bruce says. 

“A _week_ , Bruce,” Tony stresses. 

“A week’s not that long,” Bruce says unconvincingly. 

“I’m going to get naked now, Bruce,” Tony says patiently, reaching for the bottom of his shirts. “If you want to do weird experiments on my apparently inhuman physiology, you can do them while I’m going down on you. Fair?” 

_“Tony!”_ Bruce sputters, turning red again. 

“Yeah, good,” Tony says, and strips off his shirts to toss them aside. He hits Steve in the face, which is _actually_ an accident even if he knows no one is ever gonna believe that. “Whoops.” 

“Tony . . .” Steve sighs, dropping the shirts on the floor. 

“So many people saying my name, and _none_ of them in the fun way,” Tony says. 

“Tony,” Natasha purrs, which is a definite improvement. 

“ _Thank_ you,” he says, unzipping his jeans and kicking out of them. “See, Natasha’s on board.” 

“Well, a week _is_ a while,” Natasha says reasonably, taking off her own shirt and draping it over the back of the couch. “Might as well take advantage of the teaming bonding time while we have it. Fit in a little ‘fraternization’ while we can.” 

“You are never letting me live that one down, are you,” Steve says resignedly, and Natasha smiles guilelessly at him. 

“Can’t imagine what you’re talking about, Cap,” she says as she unhooks her bra, and he sighs again and, delightfully, takes off his shirt too. Tony is all about this turn of events. 

“There we go, now we’re all getting on board,” he says approvingly. 

“Just don’t overeat, alright?” Steve says. “We don’t need to get you . . . ‘overwhelmed’, whatever that entails.” 

“I am perfectly whelmed, in fact,” Tony says eagerly, and goes for the waistband of the other’s pants because again: priorities. Steve sighs. 

“This _does_ explain some things,” he muses. 

“I’m remembering that remark, Rogers.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr!](http://suzukiblu.tumblr.com/)


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